I have come across this hub today, it’s titled “Live Well And Be Happy” and it inspires me so much I want to share it with you. I’m sure lots of women today are bothered with too much problems in life. Be it with finances, relationships, and even with the country’s present status. With all the struggles we encounter everyday, we need sometime to reflect where we are now and where we are heading to. It is important to know our purpose in life. Life they say is always a choice and our perspective determines the choices we make. How we view ourselves and how we view our life can make a difference with the decisions we make. To live well and be happy is a decision. It is one major decision. It’s hard to decide choosing a well-lived and happy life thinking that obstacles are combating us left and right. Nevertheless, we can make a choice! We can start by simplifying our lives and looking through ourselves! Yes, we can do it women!
5 Es to Success September 10, 2008
EMPATHIZE – I feel very sorry for women who have been socialized that “a man is a plan” and now have to “fend for themselves” after being widowed (often at an early age) or divorced. Trying to learn about finances when one is grieving is a recipe for disaster, as grieving is surely a full time job! Additionally women’s family’s money messages are particularly limiting, if not worse. Women’s socialization has also placed huge hurdles in our paths towards understanding our finances. I’m in touch with both the necessity AND the magnitude of the task ahead. My easy steps will help us safely get in touch with our feelings about money.
ERADICATE fears – Like all subconscious matter, our fears will control us until we disarm them and bring them to the conscious, so we can deal with them effectively and efficiently. Once we’ve taken an inventory of all our assets and listed all our expenditures we are well on our way to realizing that we can manage our doubts and devise plans to succeed.
EDUCATE – How can women win at the game of finances, if we don’t know the rules? Understanding the historic performance of various asset classes as well as commonly accepted DOs and DON’Ts will aid us in the race to compound money quicker. I’ll give you the Cliff Notes of investing so you can craft an effectively diversified portfolio. Knowledge is power!
ENERGIZE – Armed with a can-do attitude, we will move from our paralysis and take the first step(s) NOW! We will institute rewards for our achievements and further feel the power of success breeding success. We commit to birthing and nurturing a plan whereby our money outlives us, because it’s Our Turn Now!
EMPOWER – It’s not enough to hear what to do, we must act now, and feel the surge of pride when we move towards our goals. What we feed grows, and positive reinforcement is essential to achieving steady progress. The power within us is strong enough to channel towards converting obstacles into opportunities. I’ll give you 5 amazingly simple power unleashing tips!
Recommended Reading List September 4, 2008
Who can’t use additional resources? These are some titles we recommend for you to turn to for more in-depth help on communication in general, and communication around money matters. These books offer easy to understand insights and tips on dealing with your fears, and identifying significant differences between men and women that impact communication.
- “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples”, by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
- “You Don’t Understand”, by Deborah Tannen, Ph.D.
- “The Art of Loving”, by Erich Fromm
- “Marriage Contracts & Couples Therapy: Hidden Forces in Intimate Relationships”, by Clifford Sager
- “Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”, by John Gray, Ph.D.
- “Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”, by John Gray, Ph.D.
- “Men Women and Relationships”, by John Gray, Ph.D.
- “The Road Less Traveled”, by M. Scott Peck
- “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”, by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
- “Embracing Uncertainty”, by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
- “It Pays To Talk”, by Carrie & Charles Schwab
- “Values-Based Financial Planning”, by Bill Bachrach
The Good Wife’s Guide September 3, 2008
Ladies, we have come a long, long way! To illustrate that point, click here to view the 1955 article which outlines the proper expectations of a “Good Wife”.
After reading the article we think you’ll agree that as ridiculous as much of it sounds, many of us still have a long way to go.
Stepping up and becoming a player, and eventually an equal partner in the management of your family’s finances is an important stride forward, yet one that still seems impossible for too many women.
However, you will be doing everyone a service – your partner, your family, and yourself! – by facing your fears and engaging in a conversation (or starting another one) with your partner.
Can You Talk About Money With Your Partner? September 2, 2008
You need to talk. You need to talk money. You know it. But what you don’t know is how to bring it up! How can you get your partner to listen to you and open up in turn? Here are a few tips not only on how to get a conversation started, but to also keep it going!
When approaching your partner for a conversation on an important issue, you must eliminate
words such as “but”, “always”, and “never” as these words are inflammatory and will elicit
defensive responses from your partner. People can’t and won’t listen when they feel attacked
or when they feel badly about themselves!
Rather use corrective language – reframe your words to be proactive and reflect your own
feelings instead of accusing the other. Start conversations by using positive statements!
For example:
WRONG APPROACH…
“We’ll Never be able to retire.”
“You Always dismiss my concerns. I’m not stupid, you know.”
“How do you expect me to stretch this money to buy holiday
gifts?”
“If you think your mother’s coming to live with us, you’ve got
another think coming.”
“I sure hope you’ve put some money away for Johnny’s college.”
RIGHT APPROACH…
“I’m concerned about our retirement.”
“I know I’m smart but I’ve avoided money matters. I need to
become more informed.”
“I’d like to sit with you and figure out what we need for holiday
gifts in addition to our basic expenses.”
“I’m concerned about how we can manage to have your mother
live with us.”
“I’d like to know our financial plan for our children’s education.”
A good way to open conversation with your partner is to discuss what you know or hope to be mutual dreams and goals:
• “Do we want to travel?”
• “Do we want to see the grandchildren on birthdays?”
• “Do we want to join a country club?”
• “Do we want to be more visible in the community, and invited to more prestigious social events?”
• “Do we want to be more philanthropic?”
• “Do we want to gift our grandkids money for college/start a business?”
• “Do we want to start our own business?”
• “Do we want to volunteer for our favorite charities?”
• “Do we want to participate in house swaps around the world?”
• “Do we want to plan singular events and also joint events as we retire?”
… “Then let’s talk about how to work together to achieve that!
Welcome – Let’s Talk Money September 1, 2008
Listen, we understand that the topic of MONEY is one of the hardest subjects for a couple to broach, yet nothing is more vital! Financial well-being has a deep impact on all areas of life, including health, happiness, security, even the success of the relationship. Yet, if a couple can’t agree on what to have for dinner, how can they come to terms with this crucial topic? Well, visiting Ms Morrison Speaks Money is a great start, and it’s never too late to begin!
